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Articles written by Phil Callaway

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 By Phil Callaway    Viewpoint 

Turtle Disaster?

I love statistics. Here are a few I came up with myself: Somewhere out there a woman will give birth to a baby every quarter of a second. I say we need to find that woman and stop h... — Updated 9/30/2022

 

The Good Report

If you could use a little good news today, here are a few stories to cheer you up. We begin in Rio Linda, California, where last December a man dressed as Santa was in for a shock.... — Updated 8/5/2022

 

Phony baloney

I love the English language. But if you're trying to learn it, it will confuse the life out of you. A good twist of phrase. A play on words. Here are a few alternative definitions... — Updated 6/23/2022

 

Fear Factor

What scares you? I fear having a heart attack while playing the game Charades. And public speaking. I fear heights. I get woozy on a stepladder, or looking down a staircase, or when... — Updated 6/23/2022

 

The 3 Little Pigs

I am an extremely young grandpa, still able to outrun and outjump thirteen grandkids. It helps that they are seven and under. When they're worn out from trying to catch me, they... — Updated 3/28/2022

 

Of Stereos and Heaven

When my aging parents lived in our granny suite, they bought a new stereo because they could no longer hear the old one. The old one was an attractive little unit, complete with... — Updated 11/22/2021

 

Finding Rock Bottom

I am an extremely young grandpa. I'm still able to outrun and outjump the grandkids. It helps that they are five and under. When they're worn out from trying to catch me, they say,... — Updated 10/4/2021

 

Put it on

A kid of nine or ten came up to me and told me a joke: "I went to buy some camouflage clothing. But I couldn't find any." It took me a second or two, but finally I laughed. Here's... — Updated 9/2/2021

 

All in the family

I asked my 4-year-old grandson for the highlight of his day. He said, "Growing tobacco." Where he heard this, I'll never know. Here are other unfiltered thoughts from children:... — Updated 6/7/2021

 

Mr. Flynn's Horrible, No Good Day

When I'm having a bad day, I'm glad I'm not alone. At the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge England, a loose shoelace, a lack of handrails and a marble wall conspired to give one... — Updated 3/27/2021

 

Laugh Again

2021 is finally here. Most of us would agree that it couldn't come fast enough. 2020 felt like our mothers gave us a gigantic Time Out. Each morning I woke up to find my wife waitin... — Updated 2/2/2021

 

Laugh Again

"There's darkness down there," our four-year-old granddaughter whispered as she peered down the stairs. She was right. Bright spots on planet earth seem scarce these days. I love ch... — Updated 12/8/2020

 

Phil's Rules for Life

We had plenty of rules when I was growing up. No throwing cheese into the ceiling fan. Stop pouring ketchup on your pancakes. Obey your parents, that it may go well with you and... — Updated 10/14/2020

 

Laugh Again

School. Do we really need it? English? We already speak it. Math? We have calculators. History? Those people are gone. Physical education? We have the great outdoors. Spanish? We... — Updated 8/6/2020

 

Laugh Again

Tabloids do their best to start rumours. Here are a few headlines I'm not making up: "Farmer shoots 23-pound grasshopper." "Man's 174 MPH Sneeze Blows Wife's Hair Off." "Satan's... — Updated 6/15/2020

 

Laugh Again

Love according to kids Sometimes we run out of wise advice on love, so we ask kids about it. Eric, age 6, was asked, "What exactly is marriage?" He said, "Marriage is when you get... — Updated 4/9/2020

 

Laugh Again

Ah, winter. That season when our mothers draped us in 40 pounds of parka, thick mittens and winter boots so heavy you could barely walk to school. "You'll catch your death of... — Updated 4/8/2020

 

Laugh Again

A little boy asked a friend, "How do you spell mousetrap? The friend said, "C-A-T." How is your spelling? Winnie the Pooh said, "My spelling is wobbly; it's good spelling but it... — Updated 4/7/2020

 

Laugh Again

I love baseball. Oh, I know it isn't as fast paced as golf or lawn bowling, but I enjoy the delicate game of cat and mouse between pitcher and batter. The tension of a ninth inning... — Updated 6/3/2019

 

Closet Monkey

One summer night during a thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. He asked in a trembling voice, "Will you stay with me all night?" She gave him a warm, reassuring hug... — Updated 4/5/2019

 

Laugh Again

It's the start of a New Year. A new beginning. New hope. Some people resolve to get some exercise-to start walking between the fridge and the couch, rather than using a scooter.... — Updated 2/1/2019

 

Christmas Traditions

My older brothers had a favorite Christmas tradition. They used to save up the cardboard tubes from rolls of wrapping paper and whap me with them Christmas Eve until my mother made... — Updated 11/24/2018

 

Hope for Monique

I was speaking at a summer camp for aboriginal teens. The rule with teens is that if you get one of them by himself or herself he or she has many, many functioning brain cells. Put... — Updated 9/10/2018

 

It's Cultural

As a well-traveled North American, I'm fascinated by culture. I've been in every Canadian province and most U.S. States. In Nova Scotia, my wife and I were treated like family by... — Updated 7/17/2018

 

Laugh Again

It seems like last Thursday that our kids were teenagers. People would ask, "What do you do?" and I would say, "I follow teenagers around the house. I shut lights off. It's a full... — Updated 5/21/2018

 

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