I was at an engagement party for friends of a friend. I didn't know the couple and was caught by surprise when I was asked to make a toast.

I lifted my glass of punch and said, "May you always steal, lie and cheat . . . "

The bride-to-be slammed down her glass and rushed out of the room, followed by the groom-to- be.

The mother-in-law to-be put down her glass and left the room.

People stared at me.

"I wasn't finished yet . . . " I explained. "The toast is supposed to be, may you always steal each other's hearts, may you always lie only in each other's arms, and may you both cheat death for...