So if the Son makes you free, you will be free for sure. John 8:36 NLV
In 1983, I was charged with first-degree murder. At the time, I was so messed up with drugs, that half the time I didn't really know what I was doing. I thought the man I stabbed had raped my sister. Out of revenge, I wanted to hurt him for this terrible act he supposedly committed.
I was told by my court appointed attorney that I'd be spending the rest of my life in prison with no chance of parole. But my troubles didn't start there.
I am Arikara/Sioux, originally from Fort Trotten, North Dakota. I'm the third youngest of 12 children.
As a young child, I was severely abused. But I know that even back then God our Creator had a plan for my life.
When I was four, my brother saved me from drowning. Years later, he told me that just before he dove into the water to rescue me, he heard a voice telling him, "You must save her!"
My parents split up while I was still young, so I took on the role of caretaker of my family. But as I grew older, I started turning away from the things I knew were right. Before long, I was into drugs, drinking and prostitution.
But all along, I still considered myself the one responsible for my siblings. It's that sense of responsibility that caused me to feel horror when I heard my sister had been raped. It's why I went after that man to do him harm.
I only meant to injure him, not kill him, but I plunged the knife into his heart. As this happened, I saw my father's face before my eyes. In the ears of my mind, I heard the words, "I finally killed my dad. Now I'll be rid of him."
While waiting for my sentencing date, the lawyer told me he would ask for a shorter sentence of 45 years.
With all the torment I went through in prison, God was right there with me. Yet I didn't realize it until later.
I was so desperate to have peace of mind that I asked one of the Native American men to help me. He gave me six black tobacco ties to hang on my bed, but the evil just got worse. Then I asked a priest to come in and bless my cell, but the demons continued to torment me daily. Then I was given medication to help me sleep. Nothing worked. After a month, I wrote to the governor of North Dakota asking to be executed for the crime I committed. He wrote back "DENIED."
While incarcerated in the San Diego, California federal prison, I attempted to commit suicide. Taken to the Harborview Hospital, I was pronounced dead upon arrival. I don't know exactly what all happened but for a while, God gave me a glimpse of hell. I heard many voices and there seemed to be a battle for possession of my soul. Then in the distance, I heard a voice. He said, "I love you."
Immediately I was flung back into my body and when I asked the doctor why he let me live he said, "It's not up to me."
You see, back in 1978, God had spoken to me about the condition of my soul. I responded and accepted Him to come and take control of my life. But shortly after that, I fell back into my old ways and continued to serve my earthly lusts.
I was taken back to prison and placed in the hole. That is like a small bathroom with a bed. It wasn't long before I heard that same voice again. "DeBora," He said, "don't you think it's time to give your life to Me completely?"
I fell on my knees and asked God to forgive me of everything I had done to hurt Him or anyone else. Wanting to know more about this Jesus who set me free, I began to read the Bible. In God's Word I read, "If the Son therefore makes you free, you are free indeed"(John 8:37). Also Ezekiel 36:26 says, "A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and give you a heart of flesh."
Miracles will happen. While in the hole, there was a man in the next cell who said he had heard me crying out to Jesus. He said while this happened he saw a bright light shining through a tiny crack in the wall. He told me that shortly after that he accepted Jesus too.
God gave me boldness to speak His Word and after I gave my life to Jesus, two federal officers came to the Lord. In my time in prison, I was transferred to five different prisons. Little did they know that God was sending me on a mission for Him. At every prison I was sent to, I was placed in the hole, and I shared what God had done for me.
One evening while in Alderson, West Virginia, I angrily asked God, "Why am I still here?"
I asked Him to show me something. At midnight, I was awakened. Above my sink I saw, as it were, my Lord getting nailed to the cross and not complaining. I fell on my knees and asked God to forgive me for what I had done to hurt Him.
In 1991, I was given favor from God and received a 13-year-cut in my sentence, even though I'd been denied many times before because of the seriousness of my crime. I'm reminded of the words, "I'm a new creature in Christ. The old things are passed away. Behold, the new things have come" (2 Corinthians 5:17).
After I served 16 years, I went to a service where the pastor said, "Miracles will happen here. People will be released who never thought they would get out." I claimed the freedom in Jesus' name. Revelation 3:8 says, "I know your deeds. See, I have set before you an open door that no man can shut. I know you have a little strength, yet you have kept My word and have not denied My Name."
I accepted this by faith. Fifteen months later, on January 6, 1998, I was told I was granted parole but I would not leave until April 1998.
I asked God, "Why then?" He told me, "I want you to tell this warden about me." During those next three months, God opened up a door for me to tell this warden about my Jesus. She received the message.
Originally, I was not due for parole until 2028 but God did the impossible. His word says, "For with God, nothing is impossible" (Luke 1:37).
While in prison, God began healing the wounds from my past, as I began forgiving all those who hurt me. As I forgave the way He forgave me, the healing began in my soul. In May 1998, I was led by the Spirit of God to witness to a man named David. Shortly after, the Lord seemed to say David would become my husband. I kept praying, "Lord, I want to serve You alone." But He reminded me of a prayer I had prayed 10 years before, asking God to find me a godly man. Not the one I would choose, but His man.
On May 12 of that year, David Gurno rededicated his life to the Lord. We were married on August 7, 1998.
Before our wedding, we had searched for an apartment but doors were all closed to us because of my criminal record. When all seemed to fail, God reminded me of the apartment I claimed two months before. We were not only blessed once but twice, because there were three other couples that would live in our complex who were Christians.
In my past, I had given birth to five children. Because of my lifestyle, I gave them all up for adoption, never expecting to see them again. When my mom died in 1995, the Lord brought my oldest daughter to visit me while I was in prison. I was very scared. I didn't want her to reject me for what I had done. But she didn't.
Then God opened more doors for me to meet my two youngest children. My other daughter was 18 and my younger son was 17. They were very happy to see me and meet my husband.
Still, I had wanted to meet my two oldest sons who were three weeks and one-year old respectively when I gave them away. That night when I got home, I received a call from my eldest son, now 27 years old. I got a call from the second son a month later.
Since David and I have been married, God has moved many mountains and broken many bondages in our lives that were hindrances in our walk with the Lord.
God has given my husband and me a ministry together. We visit jails and prisons in Minnesota, sharing our stories. God is using us to see men and women whose backgrounds are similar to mine, come to know Jesus and find freedom in Him. We pray that you might know Jesus as Lord and Savior in your life as we have.
For more inspiring stories of Indigenous people who have overcome life's trials and grown spiritually, order Conquering Indian.
