Forgiveness is one of those experiences that you participate in as a receiver and as a giver. If you have one without the other than it just doesn't feel right. With all the talk in the circles of the truth and reconciliation meetings that have taken place, and all the recommendations that came forth, forgiveness must play a vital role in that process.

Survivors told their stories, truth telling took place and talk of healing was central to those talks. Yet, if forgiveness from both sides of the fence does not take place, then our hearts will never truly heal. Then when we look at our lives, as we journey through the regular routine of our lives, we also come across many situations where forgiveness still has to play a vital role.

In the Holy Scriptures, we see some great advice and instructions on the topic of forgiveness, as we live in community. The letter to the Ephesians was meant for the whole church, the whole Christian community of Jesus followers, including these words: "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.  Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:25–31).

The apostle Paul, a famous writer of the New Testament who killed Christians before God touched his heart, wanted to let the people know how to live in community. The word community is very popular in the Aboriginal/Indigenous family unit. To us as Aboriginal/Indigenous people the word community means everyone who lives in the geographical area of where we live.

Community means everyone. This letter Paul wrote, Ephesians, is meant for the Christian church specifically, because it is referring to those who believe in Jesus Christ. Many people, even if they don't believe in Jesus, still believe in forgiveness, but Jesus Christ may not be the focus of that forgiveness. For those of us who do believe in Jesus Christ, Jesus is the focus of everything we do. That's why the advice I give today and the advice that Paul gives us in this letter, refers to the words forgiveness and Jesus Christ in the same breath.

Forgiveness is the only way to freedom. Forgiveness is the only way to being set free. Forgiveness is the only way to heal your broken heart. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is worth it. Forgiveness has to start and end with Jesus for it to make the most sense to our frail and insecure hearts, which long to encounter and go on the journey of forgiveness. Yet, this journey of forgiveness isn't a one-time event in our lives. It is an event that we practice until the day we die. We extend forgiveness and we accept forgiveness. It is a two-way street. It's not a one-way street. Truth and reconciliation can't happen fully without forgiveness extended both ways.

In this letter, Paul gives several things we are to not do and several things we are to do. For a homework exercise, go through the verses again and see if you can see them. Write them down. Get a coffee, tea, water or pop and sit down and see if you can find them. Then when you find the list of things not to do and the list of things to do see if you can apply that list to something you are going through right now.

Then notice at the end of these verses that the reason we try to put away all falsehood, and the reason we speak truth with our neighbors is because Jesus Christ has forgiven us. That's where healing starts and ends in our journeys of life. That's why healing can feel so good. That's why forgiveness needs to be at the heart of any kind of truth and reconciliation.

Parry Stelter is a Bible teacher, author and speaker. He is founder of Word of Hope Ministries. If you are interested in having Parry do a workshop on dealing with grief, loss and trauma, you can contact him at parry@wordofhopeministries.ca.