Trusting Jesus as a Lakota woman

Finding Jesus. I am Lakota Sioux from the Rosebud Reservation in South Dakota. Both my parents were Lakota Sioux. When I was quite young, my father had to move away to find work and he ended up in Oregon.

Later my mother and I travelled there and settled in Coos Bay where we had relatives. Soon after my grandparents came and my grandmother opened a beauty shop in Independence.

Every once in a while we would all get together. When I was in second grade, my mother took my sister to my grandparents. Meanwhile, my dad, brother and I stayed in Coos Bay. Not long after my parents split up and I went to live with my grandpa. He really didn't like girls and much preferred to have grandsons. We went to second grade there in Independence but by the time third grade rolled around, we were back with my dad.

I didn't know what happened to my brother. He had been absent for quite a while and then all of a sudden he was back with my dad.

We moved out to McClay, Oregon, when I was about in sixth grade and my stepmother came out to stay with us. One night we all went to a camp meeting. I really didn't know what was going on but I went along. That was the night I saw this little girl. She was the blondest girl I had ever seen-totally different from me. I had a Dutch haircut and I was kind of dark. I always felt awkward.

They were asking people about stuff and this little blond girl raised her hand. When I saw her, I thought, "I can do that" so I raised my hand. Then she raised her hand a second time and I did too. I thought she must know what's going on so I just followed her.

Then later on, all of us went to the back of the tent and the guy was talking about this Jesus and evidently we prayed "The Sinner's Prayer." I think I got saved right then and there.

Right away I remembered back to when I was about three years old. My sister, and I were up on a hill. My dad was out drinking and it was a bad stormy night. It was scary. All the lights went out and it was lightning and thundering. It was real ugly.

We were screaming and mother said we should all come in where she was sitting on her bed. She covered us up with her blankets and told us "say this after me." I thought, "Why not?" We prayed The Lord's Prayer together.

I don't know what happened after that but years later, I think that when I was three, that's when the Holy Spirit came in. When I pray that "Sinner's Prayer", I really did believe that Jesus was in there. Though I didn't recognize it at the time, I think the knowledge of Jesus in me kind of lay dormant in me for a long time.

My husband Perry and I got married on September 25, 1965 and we lived next door to some really nice people. Connie Kenyon was the woman's name. She was a smoker and a fussy person. She wouldn't do this and she wouldn't do that. But something happened and she was totally different.

When she told me about Jesus, oh my goodness, she would start crying.

One day I asked her, "Bonnie, what's the matter?"

"I got saved! I got saved!" she replied. "I love Jesus" and she'd start crying all over again.

She had a Bible study in her home and one day she told me that her pastor from a church in Albany, OR, was going to be there. So I went.

The pastor went around the group asking us about our lives. He finally came to me and said, "What about you?"

"Well," I said, "My husband and I live next door and we have three of the wildest little Indians on earth and I love them very dearly." I went on to tell them about one time one of the boys was doing something that really wasn't good and so I swatted him more than three times and I thought about it because it bothered me quite a bit.

We were going through a very stressful time. Perry would work for six months and then he'd be out of work for the next six months. We almost caught up with paying off everything and then he'd go back on unemployment and we'd be on food stamps. So every six months or so, this bubble would build up and then pop, build up and pop. It was getting more and more stressful for me and sad. I guess I was starting to take it out on my kids. I got frustrated and started hitting my children more than I should.

So I went to the doctor and he gave me some Valium. I didn't know what that was but it sure made me feel more peaceful and it was very nice.

We lived in a very small one-bedroom house so it was tense. I finally told this pastor that I felt like my life was on a very fast river going downstream but I felt like life was rushing by me. I said I felt like I was moving very slowly.

He asked me if I had any Christian upbringing. "Well, I think I was sprinkled as a baby when I was an Episcopalian," I said.

He said he had to go but asked if he could pray for me.

"Sure," I answered. "It's not going to hurt me, so go ahead."

He laid his hands on my head and prayed. "Jesus, become so real to her that she doesn't need anything anymore."

After the pastor left, the lady down the street told me she had a book she wanted me to read.

"OK, what is it?"

"It's called "Nine O'clock in the Morning" by Dennis Bennett.

It took me about three days to read it and after those three days, I realized that I hadn't taken any of those Valium pills and I still felt great.

Perry said that he felt like he had to pull me off the ceiling just to talk to me. So Perry read the book and on Election Day, November 2, 1972, after we voted, I remember saying, "Jesus, come into my life."

My husband had gone to the Baptist church there in Salem and like everyone else, he was baptized in that church. But on December 23, 1972, Perry accepted Jesus into his life. It was just wonderful!

The night that we were supposed to go up to my dad's for a "beerfest " (that's what my family did. They were big smokers and drinkers-drunks and all that-but I wasn't. I didn't like it). Perry asked me, "How would you like to go up to Ballard, Washington, and see if this book is really real?"

"Sure! Let's go."

We faced an awful lot of opposition all the way up there. We were going up with clear skies but all of a sudden we got into such mud on the new freeway they were building, we said to one another, "if we don't find water soon, we won't be able to go on." It was because we no longer could see out the windshield.

Just about then, there was a huge downpour from the heavens! It cleared off the windshield and away we went all the way to Ballard, a suburb of Seattle.

On that Sunday, February 1, 1973, we both asked Jesus to take control of our lives at the Episcopal Church in Ballard, pastored by Dennis Bennett. The people who prayed with us said, "Now do you renounce Satan and all of his works?"

"Yes," we both said. They then went into the very depths of our gizzards and got us to realize that we needed Christ so badly. It was renouncing Satan, confessing and asking Christ to come into our lives and help us to be like Jesus.

"Do you want the power of His Holy Spirit?" they asked.

"Sure, that's what we came up here for."

We asked the Holy Spirit to come in and help us with His power.

Perry was so excited. "This is so wonderful, can I take this home with me?"

We returned home and as life went on, we continued living our everyday life and we tried doing everything we were supposed to. Things didn't change that much but we loved Jesus and had faith and knew that He loved us.

One time we were taking part in the Renewal and as we were worshipping, all of a sudden, I saw Jesus. I had this vision in which there was a procession and I saw the warriors coming in and then I saw Him. Jesus came in wearing His regalia and He was riding on a big white horse. He had on a war bonnet. He wore beautiful beaded moccasins and there was a lamp and shield on his arms. His breastplate was beautiful.

I couldn't keep quiet and was making noises. Perry kept whispering for me to stop. But it all was so beautiful.

After that Jesus started showing me principles of Himself, the Holy Spirit, and His Word. He revealed that studying the Bible is a lot like hunting. You have to go out, find the animal, kill it, then skin it and cut up the meat in pieces for food.

That's the difference between studying the Word and someone else telling us about what it says. You have to hunt it, shoot or trap it and then prepare it yourself like meditating on the Word. It's always wonderful to hear the Word but it's much more helpful to go look it up for yourself.

I would challenge our elders to teach the younger generation the truths and Native values. Honor and respect. Especially the younger generation. I would rather you be friendly to them rather than be mad. It seems no one is teaching the younger ones how to behave. They don't listen and if they do, they don't follow the instruction of the elders. Today's generation needs the elders to come alongside.

Keep teaching. Even the older generation needs to hear that you are proud of them and encourage them not to get involved in drinking and drug use. Continue to pass on our traditions to our younger generations.