I'm at the age where I think about the hereafter more than ever. I arrive at the fridge and wonder what I'm hereafter. Seriously, heaven is looking sweeter all the time, partly... — Updated 9/15/2023

Kids help me laugh. My grandson said, "Grandpa, you're bald. You look extinguished." Animals help me laugh, too. If you've seen a naked mole rat or a hairless cat, you know God has... — Updated 7/14/2023

I don't know about you, but I've never really liked pain. In ninth grade I weighed a whopping eighty-one pounds if I was carrying a suitcase so I decided to beef up by gorging... — Updated 5/17/2023

I was picking out a Valentine's card for my wife. One section read, "Apology Cards." I was curious. Flipping through them, I found mostly excuses. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."... — Updated 3/20/2023

It's a new year. That time when my dentist says, "Out with the old teeth; in with the new." That time when we leave some things behind. In January 1973, I left trumpet lessons... — Updated 1/27/2023

Recently a California delivery truck spilled 150,000 tomatoes across Interstate 80. To help us ketchup on this juicy story, news crews reported that the truck hit a central divider... — Updated 11/28/2022

I love statistics. Here are a few I came up with myself: Somewhere out there a woman will give birth to a baby every quarter of a second. I say we need to find that woman and stop h... — Updated 9/30/2022

If you could use a little good news today, here are a few stories to cheer you up. We begin in Rio Linda, California, where last December a man dressed as Santa was in for a shock.... — Updated 8/5/2022

I love the English language. But if you're trying to learn it, it will confuse the life out of you. A good twist of phrase. A play on words. Here are a few alternative definitions... — Updated 6/23/2022

What scares you? I fear having a heart attack while playing the game Charades. And public speaking. I fear heights. I get woozy on a stepladder, or looking down a staircase, or when... — Updated 6/23/2022

I am an extremely young grandpa, still able to outrun and outjump thirteen grandkids. It helps that they are seven and under. When they're worn out from trying to catch me, they... — Updated 3/28/2022

When my aging parents lived in our granny suite, they bought a new stereo because they could no longer hear the old one. The old one was an attractive little unit, complete with... — Updated 11/22/2021

I am an extremely young grandpa. I'm still able to outrun and outjump the grandkids. It helps that they are five and under. When they're worn out from trying to catch me, they say,... — Updated 10/4/2021

A kid of nine or ten came up to me and told me a joke: "I went to buy some camouflage clothing. But I couldn't find any." It took me a second or two, but finally I laughed. Here's... — Updated 9/2/2021

I asked my 4-year-old grandson for the highlight of his day. He said, "Growing tobacco." Where he heard this, I'll never know. Here are other unfiltered thoughts from children:... — Updated 6/7/2021

When I'm having a bad day, I'm glad I'm not alone. At the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge England, a loose shoelace, a lack of handrails and a marble wall conspired to give one... — Updated 3/27/2021

2021 is finally here. Most of us would agree that it couldn't come fast enough. 2020 felt like our mothers gave us a gigantic Time Out. Each morning I woke up to find my wife waitin... — Updated 2/2/2021

"There's darkness down there," our four-year-old granddaughter whispered as she peered down the stairs. She was right. Bright spots on planet earth seem scarce these days. I love ch... — Updated 12/8/2020

We had plenty of rules when I was growing up. No throwing cheese into the ceiling fan. Stop pouring ketchup on your pancakes. Obey your parents, that it may go well with you and... — Updated 10/14/2020

School. Do we really need it? English? We already speak it. Math? We have calculators. History? Those people are gone. Physical education? We have the great outdoors. Spanish? We... — Updated 8/6/2020

Tabloids do their best to start rumours. Here are a few headlines I'm not making up: "Farmer shoots 23-pound grasshopper." "Man's 174 MPH Sneeze Blows Wife's Hair Off." "Satan's... — Updated 6/15/2020

Love according to kids Sometimes we run out of wise advice on love, so we ask kids about it. Eric, age 6, was asked, "What exactly is marriage?" He said, "Marriage is when you get... — Updated 4/9/2020

Ah, winter. That season when our mothers draped us in 40 pounds of parka, thick mittens and winter boots so heavy you could barely walk to school. "You'll catch your death of... — Updated 4/8/2020

A little boy asked a friend, "How do you spell mousetrap? The friend said, "C-A-T." How is your spelling? Winnie the Pooh said, "My spelling is wobbly; it's good spelling but it... — Updated 4/7/2020

I love baseball. Oh, I know it isn't as fast paced as golf or lawn bowling, but I enjoy the delicate game of cat and mouse between pitcher and batter. The tension of a ninth inning... — Updated 6/3/2019